The Legacy of Paneau: Legacy's Chase
by Sile Crowley
Summary: Prequel to LOP: Legacy's End. Missing his best friend Cordira Natiyr, Derek Rys'tihn thinks back on a difficult experience they both shared as younger teens, pondering what it meant for their relationship then & now. Occurs 20 APC, flashback occurs 16 APC
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: If you are a regular reader, keeping up with my current work Legacy of Paneau: Audacity (at time of writing this foreword), and you don't want to be spoiled by what this piece indirectly foretells, then don't read...yet. I had to get this short first-person POV out of my head because my muses are quite forceful, even though I still have a lot of the timeline to fill into the gap this story creates. The relationship between these two, what this piece explores, is central to the final part of the series that comes after it, Legacy's End. If you don't mind knowing a few things that Audacity and its successors haven't revealed yet, then by all means, read on. I enjoyed writing it, and I can't wait to close out this whole series, the way I've had planned for years. - Sile_

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Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't?

Don't lie; of course, you have. Everyone has, at least once in their life. Maybe it was someone who was too old, or far too young. Maybe a holostar, or a war hero, or someone just as unreachable. Whatever the case, how do you get over it? Distance, right? Put them out of sight and out of mind, and eventually you'll forget them.

Not so in my case. Naturally, I found myself in the most complicated of circumstances, an arrangement that I certainly couldn't just ignore or forget. You see, I've been in love with my best friend for as long as I can remember. I can't think of anything more trying...or more exhilarating. Our families live under the same gigantic roof of the Rys'tihn Manor; I see her almost all day, every day...at least, I used to, before she left.

My parents' motto has always been "absence makes the heart grow fonder," and it's worked for their relationship. It certainly describes how I feel, but I have no idea what she feels right now. It really was cruel, the way she disappeared. It's been almost four years since I last saw her or even spoke to her, and all I have to hang onto are memories of those days just before when she was the most vulnerable I've ever seen her...

I was fifteen, she was sixteen. For some reason, my father had suddenly decided that an unexplored region of the cave concealed within the Lexcen Lake needed his attention, though I was never entirely sure why. He never told me, either, probably because he felt too guilty after what happened. Originally it was just going to be me and Dad going, but he asked Cordira to come along at the last minute. He never said it outright, and I'd never dare ask him, but I imagine he brought her with us because he...felt sorry for her. My little brother Kyren had just turned nine years old and left for the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV earlier that day, joining our sister Kaylina and the Natiyr twins Aruun and Arlen there. Cordira had been denied acceptance to the Academy a few years ago, so I think my dad wanted to give her something else to think about, give her an adventure. Though he was successful, I don't think he had planned on it being so...dangerous.

Most of the cave was underwater, intentionally flooded by King Lexcen Ordeel a couple thousand years ago. The lake hid within it a large, mysterious mosaic on one wall of the cave that contained hundreds of predictions made by a Jedi Rys'tihn ancestor. That part of the cave was well documented by the Rys'tihn Ghost Heirs, but my dad found a passageway that wasn't included in the map. That's where we began our excursion.

"What are we looking for?" Cordira had asked in her casual, innocent Coruscanti accent. Even the harsh, stony corridor couldn't harden the sweet eloquence of her voice.

Up ahead of us with a portable scanner in one hand, a glowrod in the other, and our astromech Tops rolling alongside him carefully, my dad pressed on through the dark. "I'll know it when I see it. Derek, keep your glowrod up."

Cordira had distracted me from my job. I quickly turned it upright again, casting its light on the low ceiling above us. It was just strong enough to cascade diffuse visibility around us, and it added to the others that Dad and Cordira carried. Tops turned his own little light on, whistling a few snide remarks my direction. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well, I don't have mechanical arms, Tops. I bet even _your _servos would get tired, too."

Another beep and whistle, and Tops had decided that he'd won the argument. He was usually pretty friendly, but sometimes, like that, he became insufferably arrogant. He had picked that up from working too long with his former squad, the Eclipse pilots, I'm sure of it.

"It's remarkable how cleanly carved this passage is," Dad marveled aloud, consulting his scanner. "Looks like it goes down a bit farther."

Having been walking through the corridor for what already felt like hours, I had grown curious. "We've been going down?"

"Just slightly. We should be leveling out in a few hundred meters."

Apparently detecting the same thing with his scanners, Tops whistled affirmatively, continuing to roll along the smooth floor easily. He had been forced to use his rocket boosters further back at the passage's entrance, but the longer we trekked through it, the more refined the surface all around seemed to be. It appeared that we had begun at its end, and we were approaching its beginning, where the primary efforts were focused. Dad seemed to be thinking the same thing, and I knew he was getting more and more excited as we went along.

When it looked on the scanner like we were reaching a dead end, we began hearing a strange roaring, whooshing sound, accompanied by cooler air and a subtle glow ahead in the passage. Eventually we no longer needed our glowrods, and meeting the passage's end, we instead were greeted by an enormous opening. Astounded, we all walked to the middle of a railed durasteel walkway spanning a gap several hundred meters wide in front of a modest underground waterfall, surrounded by rocky formations glowing a soft blue. The water freely fell easily a kilometer down to a small reservoir at the bottom which was also glowing. Though we obviously weren't the first to find such a fantastic sight, it was definitely a unique experience.

Dad looked like he had found lost treasure. "This is amazing! I'm sure that water's coming from the Lexcen Lake...but where is it going?"

Looking down to the pool below, we noticed there were no streams leading away from it. The cavernous room went on for kilometers in almost all directions, but the water was mostly contained just below its waterfall. It was a bit perplexing, but since the area hadn't always been under water, there were bound to be undiscovered paths for the water to take.

"Why is everything glowing?"

"It looks like every surface is covered with small lifeforms that are feeding on the nutrients the water brings in. The byproduct of their process must be the glow we see."

I barely managed to contain a laugh. My dad: career pilot, Paneau's Head of Security, and apparently, a budding biologist.

Cordira remained fascinated, though, taking in the view as our eyes continued adjusting to the new light. The blue glow turned her normally vibrant, fire-red hair into an odd shade of purple, and I guess I had a weird expression on my face because of it. As Cordira turned her head to me, she gave me the same look right back, but I noticed something else just beyond her that caught my attention instead. She laughed at me as my expression became even more serious, but that stopped when she followed my gaze to her other side...and saw the same blinking red light affixed to the opposite wall where the walkway was attached.

"Dad..."

The light blinked faster as we watched. Tops whistled shrilly and rocked in place in alarm; he already knew what it was.

"Back the way we came, _now_," he ordered tensely, but the instant we all turned around, we met the same blinking light, quickening to an almost constant beam -

We couldn't have even reacted. Before we knew it, the walkway was gone beneath our feet.


	2. Chapter 2

The two charges detonated a split second apart, blasting the walkway from its supports as it twisted and tossed us in all directions. I couldn't see much immediately after the explosions, temporarily blinded by the flashes. All I heard was the heavy _whump _as I landed hard on my back, Tops whistling frantically as he fired his boosters midair...and Cordira's penetrating scream was silenced a moment later with a deafening crash. I was so stunned, and my lungs refused to work because of the sudden trauma, turning each second into moments of sheer agony and panic. I couldn't move, I couldn't even think until I was finally able to gasp, desperately drawing in as deeply as I could to fill my chest. I had to cough roughly to force it all back out, but just thankful to be breathing again, I continued, nearly choking each time. Still in a daze from the fall, I moved carefully to test my arms and legs, sure I had broken at least one of them. Nothing protested, though, and once the room stopped spinning, I sat up and looked around me.

I had just barely landed on a narrow outcropping, and if I moved much more, I was in danger of falling even further. The stone under me, glowing the same bright blue as everywhere else, was surprisingly dry, but just as cold under my hand as the water-chilled air was on my face. I angled myself just enough to look down to the right, but I couldn't see anyone below me. When I began to look over my left side, though, Tops flew up right in front of me, startling me so much I almost lost my balance. Thankfully, he didn't look to have taken much damage, having been able to maneuver around the falling debris.

"Tops! Where's Dad? Where's Cordira?"

The hovering astromech zoomed aside and turned to look down toward the pool at the cavern's floor, whistling anxiously, and I saw why. Almost completely submerged but resting atop a shallow shelf at the pool's edge, Dad was laying on his back, his head only lolling side to side with the waves still cresting from his impact. I couldn't tell if he was still breathing, or if he was even still alive from my position so far away.

"Get him out of the water!"

I watched in paralyzed fear as Tops rapidly obeyed and landed in the water beside Dad, extending a long, mechanical arm from his torso to grip his jacket and drag him away from the pool. Once he was clear, I didn't even have to give Tops the order; the droid quickly returned to Dad's side and carefully rolled him up from his back, roughly turning him onto his stomach to hopefully give him the jolt he needed to start breathing again...

Until I heard his choking coughs echoing up to me, I wasn't sure it had worked. He sounded like he was coughing up lungfuls of water, but he remained face-down on the glowing, rocky floor.

"Dad!"

Finally moving, he brought his arms to his side and propped himself up, continuing to cough as he turned over and sat up. He seemed just as dazed as I had been, looking numbly up in my general direction. I waved to get his attention and yelled for him again.

"Derek? Are you...okay?"

He was slowly coming back to his senses, but he sounded as weak as I would have expected after nearly drowning. Though he was still insensitive to pain, as he had been since I was very young, he wasn't invincible. Surely he had some kind of injury from the explosion or from falling from that height; I could already see blood running down the side of his face.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Can you see Cordira?"

He looked around blankly, but when he stopped, I knew he had found her, and she was directly underneath me. Without waiting for any instructions from him, I spotted a ledge to my right that was just wide enough to land on...but it was much further down than I had judged. I landed so hard on my feet, I thought they would've shattered from the stress, but I determinedly kept going to the next ledge below to the left. My foot slipped out from under me as I reached it, cracking my knee on the wall beside me, but nothing was going to stop me. I had to press on.

I must have zigzagged down more than four hundred meters to get to her, though I didn't know I had at first. Almost to the cavern's lowest level, I barely avoided landing atop the mangled remains of the walkway, and it wasn't until I saw her boot under it that I realized she had been crushed by it. In a state of panic and shock, I jumped around to the side, pulling loose debris from the pile when I could. When I finally cleared enough of the wreckage around her to see more of her...I felt my heart stop beating. The blasted walkway had fallen to the ground upside down, bent slightly and hovering just centimeters over her, but two durasteel support rods had pierced her, literally pinning her to the ground. She was slightly rolled onto her right side, and one of the rods penetrated her left lower abdomen at her waist, and the other was embedded in her left leg.

I froze, terrified. I had never seen such an injury, and I had no idea how to help it. Though she wasn't conscious, she was miraculously still breathing, yet I was beginning to fear that none of us were going to make it out of this mysterious tomb alive.

I turned back toward Tops and Dad and was surprised to see Dad on his feet, though he had to keep a hand on Tops' dome for balance. Soaking wet, he was shaking as he slowly stepped closer, but his eyes sharpened as he saw the look on my face. He and I both knelt down beside Cordira, determining what could be done for her, and thankfully, he could think more clearly than I could as he sized up the rods, carefully gripping them to gauge their thickness.

"Tops, can you cut through these?" When the droid whistled affirmatively and rolled into place beside us, Dad turned to me. "If we cut them loose from the walkway, we can at least get it away from her. I'm worried that if it shifts...it'll hurt her even more."

I nodded as I began shedding my jacket, covering her with it to protect her from the sparks that were about to fly. As Tops extended a small saw to the first rod, the one in her leg, I braced myself under the portion of the walkway that hung over her upper body, squatted down close to her but with my back against the durasteel, ready to accept its weight if it gave way. The saw's screeching echoed about the cavern tortuously, but it didn't take as long as I thought it would. As Tops cut all the way through the first rod, the wreckage gave a sickening lurch as it shifted a few centimeters sideways, but not down. When nothing else moved, though, I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding, nodding to Dad and Tops that I was ready for the last cut.

The second one, though, seemed to take an eternity to slice, as if the twisted mess of durasteel was determined to not surrender its captive. Dad even lined himself up beside Tops, holding on to the other end at Cordira's feet. I tensed all my muscles, preparing myself for quick action if needed...

The rest of what happened, I could only attribute to my unrefined Force abilities and sheer will to prevent any further harm to her. With the second rod cut, I felt the tremendous weight nearly smother me into the ground, but the more I focused, the more I pushed back...the lighter the load became. With Dad directing the opposite end, I fought with all my might, and then...the wreckage tumbled away harmlessly, sending dramatic crashes echoing through the cavern.

Severely weakened by the exertion I had hardly been conscious of, I collapsed to my knees just beside Cordira, catching my upper body with my hands. I couldn't draw deep enough breaths from what seemed like minutes, and my vision turned black, but when I could finally see again...I could tell she was beginning to wake up.


	3. Chapter 3

Somehow finding the strength to, I stood from her left side and stepped over to her right, kneeling down beside her again. Her head was turned to the right, so I could watch her come around, but when she started moving in discomfort, I knew I needed to keep her calm.

"Cordira," I called to her softly at first, fighting my own panic. She still wasn't quite awake, though, so I cupped her face with one hand, squeezing her hand in my other. Responding to my touch, she gripped my hand hard as her face twisted into a grimace of tremendous pain, followed by breathless whimpers that tore at my heart. To wake up to that kind of agony without knowing why had to be an unbelievable shock.

"Cordira, try not to move," my dad instructed numbly; he, too, sounded like he was at a loss. Though I wasn't sure because of the uniform blue glow in the cavern, but he looked even more pale than he had been earlier. Whether that was from his injuries he had likely sustained in his fall or from his concern for Cordira, I couldn't tell. I just kept holding her hand, comforting her the only way I knew how.

Her breathing became more rapid and shallow as she became more alert and aware of her wounds, and as she finally looked up at me, I could see the pure fear in her eyes. In that moment, I knew her thoughts, though she hadn't yet said a word: she was terrified that she was going to die.

The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I had said. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

It was the comfort she needed to hear, though, and as she tightly shut her eyes, I felt her hand squeeze mine more earnestly. She had accepted my pledge to her, but how was I supposed to carry it out?

"It doesn't look like you're bleeding too much, Cordira," Dad told her carefully, looking her over. "Just stay as still as you can, okay?"

Beside Dad, Tops whistled sadly at her, concerned for her, too. Blinking myself out of my shock, I snapped to attention, suddenly remembering the astromech's capabilities. "You can get back up to the surface and go get help, Tops."

Readying his rocket boosters, Tops beeped affirmatively, but he swiveled his domed head around, looking to Dad for permission. Tops was Dad's droid, after all, but what better use could we put him to than to go where we couldn't? Dad quickly agreed, hesitating only to cough weakly and clear his throat of lingering water. "Find Cade and Malin first. They'll know best how to get us out of here." Dad had only just finished his order when another coughing fit gripped him. It was like he couldn't catch his breath, and each cough sounded wetter as it carried on. At the time, I attributed it to remaining water in his lungs, but I later found out that wasn't the case.

Tops twirled around squarely on his wheels and obeyed quickly, firing his rocket boosters that propelled him up into the air of the vast cavern. We all watched as he disappeared into the corridor's opening in the wall, almost indistinguishable and hidden by the distance now spanning between us. Cordira recaptured my attention, though, when I felt her hand shaking, even in my grip. As I looked back down at her, I could see that her entire body was trembling; the initial adrenaline rush had worn off, and her system was finally reacting to her surroundings and to her injuries.

"I'm cold..."

I would have burned the shirt off my back for her...if I had had any kind of ignition source with me at the time. Dad had been wearing our supply pack with food for the day as well as anything else useful, but it was all probably already at the bottom of that pool of water he had fallen into. The only option available since Dad's was still soaking wet, I tucked my jacket carefully around her upper body, though I knew full well it wouldn't provide much warmth for her for long. Despite what I thought was diligent attention, I must have accidentally hit the rod in her abdomen, and her sudden cry of pain sent shards of ice through my veins.

"I'm sorry!" I answered in a panic, smoothing her hair back from her face. "I'm so sorry!"

It took her a while to breathe normally after nearly hyperventilating to endure the pain, but again, she seemed to calm as I kept a comforting hand on the left side of her face and resumed holding her right hand. Even though I was the one who had caused her the added torture, I was surprised she didn't send me away. Instead, it seemed like she was trying to pull me closer, tightening her hand around mine. I obliged as much as I could as I hunched over on my knees beside her, ignoring my own discomfort. My knee and my feet were screaming with pain from the long falls I had made down to her, but I knew it had to be nothing compared to what she felt. I could tolerate it.

Totally focused on Cordira, I had almost forgotten Dad was still there. "Derek..." When I looked back up at him on Cordira's other side, I half expected him to collapse before I could get to him. He was holding his palm against his temple that was still bleeding, wavering in place even though he was already sitting. Surely he couldn't tell that his head was hurting... His coughing coupled with his likely concussion must have been making him dizzy, something that wouldn't be affected by nonfunctional pain nerves. I couldn't figure out what he wanted my attention for, though, and neither could I really have done anything for him, anyway.

"Dad, lay down."

Obeying as if he hadn't been able to come up with the idea himself, he complied, slowly lowering himself to the rocky floor. He kept his hand on his head as he moved, though, taking in deliberately slow breaths like he was trying to stave off nausea. After a moment, he pulled his hand back and looked at it briefly before replacing it. "It won't stop..."

As frustrated as I was with our predicament, I couldn't let myself get too upset. With both Dad and Cordira so seriously wounded, I was the one who would have to keep a calm, sound mind, and though I was more scared than I had ever been in my life, I couldn't let them know that.

I released a shaky breath, forcing a soft, nervous laugh at the end to hopefully lighten their moods a bit. "Looks like you both will have to get friendly with some bacta tanks once we get out of here."

Dad gave me a weird look, but to my surprise, Cordira answered me with a reluctant groan. "Anything but bacta," she breathed weakly. "It smells...so..._awful_..."

I laughed again. "Yeah, you'd have to do without me for a few days afterward."

She looked up at me without any hint of a grin, but her humor was so dry without any injuries ailing her, anyway. "You can...hold your breath."

"Not for days at a time!"

Still, no grin. "You'd find a way."

I don't know if she was aware of how right she was. She meant it as a joke, but it silenced me. I couldn't come up with anything to parry her jeers for once, which was rare. She continued on another path entirely, though, and it killed me just the same.

"If either of us...had been accepted into the Academy...we wouldn't need the bacta."


	4. Chapter 4

Again, I had no words. She had closed her eyes, weakening by the minute, but at least she hadn't seen my reaction.

It was true that she had been denied acceptance into the Jedi Academy for reasons that infuriated me, but what she didn't know...was that I had actually _declined _the invitation they had extended to me just months later. Her status as a clone, albeit an altered one, colored their perception of her before they had even given her a chance. The only thing the New Republic knew about Jedi clones was that they all eventually went mad, either because of an existential crisis or because of the discovery of aberrant powers, and they had decided they didn't want to risk training her. If they were going to treat her so unfairly, without even a proper evaluation, there was no way I was going to join their ranks.

I looked over at Dad the same time he looked at me, and as our eyes met, I knew he was thinking about the same thing I was. Mom's reaction to my decision was a lot...harsher than I had anticipated. Dad had taken my side, or at least he had respected my choice and didn't want to force me to do what I didn't want to do, and it had caused considerable unease between them. I know Mom only wanted what was best for me, but I also know that I let her down by not following in her path. To add to my guilt, she had told me that regardless of Cordira's troubles, I owed it to the Jedi Master who had given his life to save mine to become the best Jedi I could, because that's what he would have wanted, and because that's why he had protected me. I'm not sure which hurt worst: Mom's overt disappointment in me, or living every day with the fact that I was refusing to honor Master Noor's sacrifice.

Growing up, I had always been closer to Mom, just like Dirani had always been closer to Dad. But after a dozen arguments over my decision to not go, Mom's attitude toward me had changed, and I found myself looking to Dad more and more. It's not that my relationship with him had ever been bad, just not necessarily close. Looking over at him as he lay on the ground beside Cordira, still with his hand on his bloodied head, I knew we were already that much closer again. I'm not sure if he was ever truly aware of just how serious his injuries were until later, but I think he expected to die just like Cordira did. I had sustained the least amount of injuries between the three of us, only a few cuts on my arms from the initial blasts, so it remained up to me to distract them from our dire situation.

Trying to maintain the light mood, I swallowed hard and mustered up the best grin I could for Cordira. "Who needs the Academy when we've got three of the best Jedi Masters in the Outer Rim right here on Paneau?"

She gave a short laugh but immediately paid for it, grimacing with sudden pain once more. Her hand shook in my grip as she fought to contain her cries of agony, so to comfort her as a silent tear fell across her nose, I gently brushed away her hair that had fallen over her face. With my touch, she let go of a breath she had been holding, but it again sounded like a pained whimper. I had never before felt so helpless...

"Cordira?"

Even her breathless voice trembled as she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. "The pain's getting worse..."

The more upset she became, the more pain she caused herself, and I knew I had to calm her down again before she made her wounds even more grievous than they already were. With my hand against her cheek once more, I carefully turned her face up to me, somehow managing to keep my voice strong for her. "Cordira, look at me... Look at me; look at my eyes!"

Her terrified, pained gasps echoed through the cavern at lengthening intervals, and though our eyes did meet once again, it didn't last long. In a few short moments, her breathing slowed dramatically, and with it faded her consciousness, as well. Horrified that she was dying that instant, right in front of me, I could hardly breathe myself. "No, _no_! Cordira!"

"Derek...she's out."

She was breathing so shallowly, I almost couldn't tell she was breathing at all. And her pulse under my shaky fingers at her neck was weak and thready, but it was still there. A full half-minute or more had to have passed before I looked up from her to see that Dad had sat back up from the floor, no longer holding his head. His gash at his temple was still oozing, but he reached across Cordira and gripped my forearm with his bloody hand, his gaze focused only on me.

"It's better that she's not suffering through this right now," he told me, sounding even weaker himself. "...I know what an injury like that feels like."

I was confused, unsure how he would remember such pain, since he hadn't been able to feel even the slightest ache as long as I had known him. It wasn't the time for questions about him, though. "How can I help her?"

He released my arm and sat back from me, looking her over sadly for a long, agonizing moment before finally answering me. "Keep her warm. There's not much else you or I can do."

My legs were already numb under me from having been knelt at her side for so long, but the rest of my body felt like I had just unwittingly taken a dive into a frozen lake. Though I initially wasn't aware that I was moving, I began gently tucking my jacket, already laying atop her from earlier, more tightly around her to trap her body heat, doing my best to avoid the rod in her lower abdomen. I was still holding her hand tightly, even though her grip had loosened as she fell unconscious, and it was probably more for my sake than hers. I monitored her pulse as I began feeding her messages in the Force, letting her know that I was still with her, and that I was going to keep my promise if I had to pump her heart for her...

"You've been a good friend to her."

Dad was sounding even more far off than he had been just minutes before...unless more time than that had actually passed. Entirely focused on Cordira's every breath and heartbeat, it was possible I hadn't noticed how long we had sat in silence. I didn't understand where he was going with his thoughts, though, until he continued.

"I'm proud of you...for your decision. You know that...right? And even though she won't admit it yet...your mother is, too. That takes...a special kind of friendship..."

I had to force my voice to work in my shock. "...she's not going to die, Dad. And neither are you."

He had begun to respond when another coughing fit gripped him, robbing him of his remaining strength. Thankfully without my intervention this time, he lowered himself back down to the floor, breathless though he was. Despite his waning lucidity, I was certain he had tried to prevent me from seeing a stream of blood trickling from his mouth by wiping it away with his wrist, but I saw it anyway.

Tops couldn't bring back a rescue team to us fast enough.


	5. Chapter 5

I was never really sure how long we actually waited. It could have been just a few hours, but it felt like days, and I don't know that I could've tolerated it much longer before I started scaling the wall up to the corridor with my bare hands. After laying back down, Dad continued his awful coughing fits, dangerously flirting with unconsciousness even more with each round. I watched him to make sure he kept breathing, but we both knew better than to waste any more energy on conversation, especially with his deteriorating condition.

He spent less and less of his waning strength on movement as time wore on, but as he finally blacked out entirely, I could only stare, terrified that I was losing him, too. His breathing remained shallow, but at least he _was_ still breathing. In hindsight, I probably should have helped him by turning him on his side, keeping him from drowning in his own blood, but still in shock and, more prominently, denial, I didn't even think about it. I had been watching him so closely, though, that I hadn't noticed that Cordira had come around again until she squeezed my hand with hers I was still holding. I looked down at her quickly, giving her a smile that was as encouraging as I could manage at the time.

"Hey, welcome back," I teased lightly, knelt at her right side. She only responded with another hand squeeze, but I could see her weakness and frailty in her eyes. Her increasing, intense pain had knocked her out earlier, but it seemed to have either subsided, or she was beyond feeling further pain. I hoped for the former, based on what Dad had said of her injury, but I suspected the latter was true. Still, I put on a brave face for her.

"Are you going to stay with me this time?"

She took in and released slow, labored breaths, seeming to consider my question honestly. When she finally spoke again, I had to consciously contain a broader smile.

"I'll try."

It didn't matter how bruised and battered my own body was, or how hopeless our situation seemed to be, Cordira's sweet voice, her delicate Coruscanti accent always enchanted me. It calmed me, which was ironic since I was the one who was supposed to be comforting her.

Another one of Dad's coughing fits earned our attention, though, and it sounded even more wet and desperate. I could hear liquid rattling in his airway as he resumed breathing, threatening to choke him at any moment, but he remained stable enough for the time being. It was the first time Cordira had heard his struggle, though, and as she turned her head back to me, I could see fear in her eyes once more.

"He sounds..._awful_...worse than I do..."

My mouth was suddenly dry; I couldn't swallow. I had to clear my throat awkwardly to force my voice to work. "At least he's not feeling any of it. You know that, right?"

She nodded, only slightly comforted by the thought. As she closed her eyes, she held tightly to my hand as if she were afraid I would leave her, and she gave a sudden gasp that startled me, thinking that I had caused her pain somehow. A single tear rolled across the bridge of her nose, wrenching my heart into a searing knot as she spoke hardly above a whisper.

"...I'm scared."

I don't know how I was able to keep from stumbling over my words; it had to be the Force that gave me the strength to answer her without any quivering in my voice. "Don't be. It'll be alright..."

"How do you know?"

As she looked back up at me, I had to smile a little to keep from losing my edge. "I haven't lied to you before, have I?"

She gave a sad, weak laugh. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

I laughed a bit, too, but she cast her gaze to the side again with falling spirits, and she was sounding weaker, as well. "How long has Tops been gone?"

"He'll be back soon. Any time now, I can feel it."

My reassurances didn't have the effect I wanted; she must have detected how little substance was behind them since I didn't answer her question directly. Her hand shook noticeably in my grip, but it wasn't entirely the fault of her anxiety...her entire body had resumed trembling.

"I am s-sso...cold..."

My heart sank even more; I had already shed and draped my only jacket over her. "I don't have anything more to give you, except..." I hesitated; dare I offer? I had to. "...except me."

The look in her eyes was hard to decipher, but she didn't protest as I began lowering myself to the floor, laying on my side next to her. Our gazes never broke as I moved as slowly as I could, carefully lifting the edge of the jacket up over my shoulder. I shifted myself to lay as closely to her as possible without moving her and causing her further pain, and finally settling with the jacket draped over us both, I grasped her hand again, holding my breath as we lay together in silence.

I expected to feel...awkward, or embarrassed to be so close to her, but to my surprise, it felt completely natural, and she was even beginning to look comfortable with it herself. Our foreheads were nearly touching, and she only held more tightly to my hand as she warmed up, her shivering subsiding. As her eyes began to close drowsily, she pressed her temple against mine, and once again, I spoke before I knew what I was saying.

"I wish this had happened to me... I wish I had been in your place..."

I hadn't expected her reaction to be so immediate. Her eyes snapped open, and a saddened look reappeared on her face. "No...don't say that. Your brother...and your sisters need you..."

"And yours don't?" My expression hardened in defiance. "You are _not _going to die. I won't let you. And neither will your dad."

Her eyes glistened with new tears as her voice quivered. "But he's not here..."

"He _will_ be," I declared strongly, bringing my hand up to gently stroke her cheek to calm her. I held her gaze, expecting her to respond with more hopeless words, but she remained quiet, her pallid skin beginning to look ashy even in the overwhelming blue glow of the cavern. Her eyes were weakly closing, but when her breathing shortened suddenly and dramatically...I knew she was running out of time. What I didn't expect, though, was her heart to stop beating so quickly.

When I felt her hand go completely limp in my grip, at first, I thought I was imagining it. I swiftly sat up and pressed my fingers into her neck to feel her nonexistent pulse, and fear froze my breath in my chest. I had to keep her blood pumping until help arrived, but how? The support rods had pinned her to the ground slightly rolled onto her right side; to do proper chest compressions, I had to at least turn her upper body to lay more flat on her back. I couldn't bear to injure her further, but it would keep her alive...

Tugging on her shoulders to twist her body to the ground, I hesitated only briefly before I frantically began compressions, watching her closely for any signs of returning life. Though she remained motionless, I continued working desperately, and even as I heard another voice echoing about the huge chamber, I wasn't about to stop.

"Koril! Derek, Cordira!"

Hearing Master Natiyr's voice was a relief, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from Cordira to watch his approach. To this day, I still don't know how both he and my mom made it down to the cavern floor from the high corridor, but at the time it was irrelevant. All I knew then was I wasn't about to lose my best friend.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Hurry_!"

Before I knew how much time had passed, he knelt down on the opposite side of Cordira and gripped my shoulder to halt me, carefully placing his other hand over Cordira's abdomen wound. He watched me concernedly for a moment as I sat back on my feet and tried to catch my breath, but I was still only worried about her.

"Help her!" I demanded breathlessly, beginning to feel lightheaded again. I didn't understand why he seemed to be afraid that I was going to collapse when his daughter was dying in front of him, but when he finally began concentrating on her, I held my breath, waiting..._terrified_...

As painful as her choking gasps were to hear, nothing had sounded so wonderful to me since we had all fallen into that cavern. I released the breath out of me, and with it went the rest of my strength. I heard Master Natiyr calling to me a few times, but even though he was less than a half meter away from me, it was so faint and distant, and I knew I was close to blacking out myself. I could only hear minimally; my vision had gone completely black, but as I lay on the ground again beside Cordira...I felt her hand find mine again and hold it tightly.

The rest of our time in the cave was more than a little fuzzy. I don't know how they got us back up to the surface, or even how long it took to get us back to Dalon. It had to have been hours, maybe even a day or so, because by the time I was able to open my eyes again, I was already set up in a bed in the Rys'tihn Manor's medical wing.

I still felt Cordira's hand in my grip, but as I looked around sluggishly...I realized I was imagining it.

"Hi, Sweetheart," my mom greeted me softly with a warm smile, the only one standing beside me as she gently brushed her fingers through my hair. "How are you feeling?"

I don't know how successful I was at keeping the disappointment off my face, but I tried to answer honestly so she wouldn't pry. "Sore," I managed to croak out, surprised at how true it was as I began to move a little. I didn't remember hurting so much earlier... "Why?"

Mom grinned a bit. "Why are you sore, or why am I asking?" She seemed to be in a decent mood even after what had happened to us.

"Why am I sore? I didn't fall that far..."

Her expression fell, though, as she gave a short sigh. "You fell far enough. You had a number of fractures in your feet and in your legs. They were little more than cracks in the bone, but...you're feeling them. Still, you were luckier than the other two."

My heart felt like it could've burst. "_Dad_! - is he -"

"He's fine!" she soothed quickly. "He'll be fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Rech's still working on him, but he's through the worst of it." She stroked my head as I settled myself back down on the bed, grimacing in pain the whole way. "True to form," she sighed again, "your father took on the worst injuries he could. Fractured ribs, punctured lung, a number of other internal organs damaged... Honestly, sometimes I think he's making a game of it."

More than a little confused at her frustration, I blinked. "Mom?"

Returning her focus to me, she shook her head. "He'll be fine," she repeated with more confidence. "Don't worry."

"...and Cordira?"

Her eyes tracked away from me and across the room, and as I followed her gaze, I saw Cordira laying in a bed just like mine just a mere meter from me. She was perfectly still, her eyes closed without a hint of a quiver, and she was covered by a couple of heavy blankets up to her shoulders. I stared, waiting for her to turn her head and look at me, but...nothing.

"She's getting some much needed rest," Mom answered nonchalantly, "just like you should be."

Looking back to my mom, she only needed to read the expression on my face; I couldn't bring myself to ask. "The support rods miraculously missed any major arteries, and her kidney was reparable since she didn't...worsen the initial injury." After a moment, her expression glowed with subtle pride. "She said you helped her keep a level head."

What was I supposed to say to that? That I had to, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to keep mine? I blanked for a moment. "Yeah."

Her smile broadened. "You father's good at that, too. Lucky that he is, or your sister Dirani might not be here, either."

Though I wasn't sure what she meant by that, I decided that could wait until later. "Can I talk to her? To Cordira?"

With a hesitant glance over at her, I could tell Mom was about to say no, but the pleading look in my eyes swayed her resolve at the last second, earning another sigh from her. "Only for a few minutes. You both need to be resting, do you understand me?"

I nodded earnestly, giving her a weak smile in return for her permission. She rolled her eyes with a light grin, apparently surprised herself that she gave in. Leaning over me, she kissed me lightly at my temple and left after a moment, saying she'd be checking on Dad. Part of me wanted to go with her to see him first, but I could feel Cordira's consciousness stirring beside me. With a concerted effort to keep my groaning to a minimum as I moved, I slowly lowered my feet to the floor and stepped over to Cordira's side, glad my legs were holding my weight. I half expected them to fail, so I held tightly to her bed as I stood there in silence, hoping my discomfort wouldn't be obvious when she woke.

Looking her over, I hadn't realized before how much I adored her fire red hair. Of course, it was an unusual shade and it easily marked her in a crowd, but it was so uniquely her, and when the cave's glowing organisms had colored everything in a monochromatic blue wash, I missed its vibrancy dearly. I could never tell her that, though; she had recently come to hate how much her hair made her stand out, and she had even threatened to dye it something darker to blend in. But she couldn't do that, either, for fear of looking even more like her mother than she already did, which she hated even more...

"...Derek?"

Her eyes had only opened slightly, and I could hear her severe weakness in her voice. Still, I gave her a strong smile, glad that she was awake. "Hey. Now do you believe me? I told you we'd be fine."

She opened her eyes a bit more, but she was looking at me with a strange kind of...fear? What could she still possibly be afraid of? Mom had already talked to her, and surely her parents had, too. She had to know that other than the mysterious circumstances that had put us at the bottom of that monstrous cavern in the first place, we had nothing more to worry about.

"...are you feeling alright?"

She nodded, but I could tell it was only to keep me from pressing her further about it. I was beginning to worry that something else was bothering her, and it was like she didn't want to talk to me about it, which hurt deeply at the time. We had both just survived a terrible disaster together, but she looked like she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. She didn't say anything to correct my thoughts, which I'm sure she had picked up on by then, and unsure what else to do that wouldn't make it worse, I swallowed hard after a few moments and gave her a wan smile.

"I...I'm very glad that you're okay."

She again gave no response other than a weak nod, leaving me nothing short of dumbfounded. I returned to my bed wordlessly, not even feeling the screaming, aching pain from my healing legs.


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of that day wasn't much more than a blur. My mother came and went a half dozen times, checking on us both until finally Master Natiyr returned just as night fell and gave us one last healing session each. I remember thinking I was slightly amazed that he wasn't completely exhausted after treating my father all day long, but he still had plenty of energy to spend on us, and he didn't waste any time in sending me up to my room for the night once he had finished with me. I began to protest, intent on staying with Cordira if he'd let me, but remembering our earlier exchange just after she had woken up...I obeyed his order and made my way up to my room with little thought.

I ended up back in my own bed without really realizing it, changed out of the spare medical clothes they had put us in shortly after rescuing us. At least, I assumed they had, since I had only seen a small fraction of Cordira's clothing under the mountainous pile of blankets with which she had been covered. I felt a bit...cut off; I wasn't allowed to see my dad until he had had some time to recover himself, and though my younger sister Dirani came to see me before she, too, was sent to bed, I don't remember a thing she said to me...or if I had said anything back.

Cordira's reaction earlier that day had really rattled me, and I couldn't entirely figure out why. I wasn't expecting praise or even a 'thank you' from her, but her complete silence after only saying my name ate at me for hours. I had already slept so much in the medical wing downstairs that I wasn't tired at all, so I was left to my own thoughts, left to wonder, and worry, and question... What had changed? Why was she treating me like I had hurt her? Had I? Could I earn her forgiveness?

So much was swirling around in my mind that I almost hadn't heard another soft knock on my door. Expecting my mother, or maybe even my sister again, I slowly stood to answer it, but she was already standing inside its entry when I looked up.

"Cordira..."

Still wearing that same expression of fear that she had greeted me with before, she also seemed surprised to see me up already. Her mouth gaped open with unformed words until she could finally gather herself enough to speak. "...were you asleep?"

I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry and I only ended up making a strange face. "No," I gave a half-hearted, nervous laugh with a shrug. "Couldn't."

Her tension eased the slightest bit with my laugh, though it seemed to only be replaced by guilt, as if she knew what had kept me up. "Me, either." She hesitated to say more, but it was almost like she was waiting for me to drag it out of her, which was the complete opposite of her reaction earlier.

"...are you okay?"

I hadn't noticed before, but as she reached her arm over her stomach to grip her other arm, I could see her trembling just slightly as she nodded. Again she struggled to talk for a few moments before she spoke again. I had never heard her voice so...timid before. "Can we talk?"

It was an odd question I would have never expected to come from her. Since we had been kids, we had always talked about anything and everything without reserve, without restraint, and without judgment. We had shared just about every portion of our lives because, up until that point, we had experienced it all side by side. Separated only by a year in age, we even shared our parents; Rech and Mand Natiyr were just as much my parents as Koril and Elena Rys'tihn were hers. So for her to ask permission to _talk_, akin to asking for permission to _breathe_...something had to have changed.

Blinking myself out of my stupor, I nodded, turning back to look about my room for someplace to sit. "Uh, yeah..." My sofa against the wall of my room was littered with clothes and gadgets after a long, busy week at school. I knew she wouldn't mind the mess, but my muscles were making it well known that they weren't too keen on moving any more than required. I was still only a step from my bed, so I lowered myself back down onto it, sitting on its edge as I invited her to a space beside me. "Here, sit."

She stooped her head in thanks, stepping over and taking her seat at my side gracefully. She moved without any hint of pain or of an injury that had almost killed her, and I remember being a little more than slightly jealous. Of course, her Jedi Healer father had patched her up perfectly, but I still had to suffer the lingering aches of mending bones, or so I thought. But I pushed that from my mind as I watched her continue to wrestle with what to say, and hoping I wasn't going to make it worse, I put a hand on her arm as her hands lay shaking in her lap.

"Cordira," I began as gently as I could, "...what is wrong?"

She met my gaze, and her fear was patent in her eyes once more. "I'm sorry."

I furrowed my brows; I expected that _I_ was going to be the one apologizing. "For what?"

She trembled again, looking down at her lap. "You saved my life...and I couldn't even say thank you."

"You don't have to."

My heart fluttered uncontrollably as she looked back up at me, smiling the tiniest bit and making her gray eyes glow even in the dim lighting of my room. It didn't last long, though, and her expression fell as she returned her gaze to her hands. My stomach sank to my feet.

"What else is bothering you?"

At least she didn't hesitate long. "I have never allowed anyone to see me so...vulnerable, so weak before."

"Cordira...you had _two _support rods stuck through you, and now you're sitting here just fine. You're anything _but _weak."

"I wanted to let go," she continued at a whisper, meeting my gaze again, "...but you wouldn't let me."

I could hardly find my voice myself. "Of course I wouldn't. I made a promise to you, and I wasn't about to let you out-stubborn me."

Finally, a small laugh and a smile, but again, it was gone so quickly. "You are my best friend. I had finally shown you the weakest side of me, what I've determinedly hidden from everyone else...my fear, and you...you saved me from it."

I nodded weakly, but I wasn't sure if more of a response was required. Regardless, I still wasn't ready for what happened next.

Swift as a wind and just as light, she leaned against me and pressed her soft lips to mine, locking us together in such a delicate, precious hold...

I was absolutely breathless; shock had erased all my pain, and I didn't feel anything but her kiss in that pristine moment. I couldn't move, I couldn't think; though I had wanted this for years, I suddenly couldn't process anything. As she began to loosen her spell over me, releasing her lips from mine, I felt like the room was spinning, like I had somehow had too much to drink.

She was still only a breath apart from me, but as our eyes met again...I inexplicably found myself shaking my head.

"_Cordira_..."

Hurt and deeply embarrassed, she sat back from me, her eyes tearing up out of regret. Still in shock, I hadn't yet taken another breath. "I...um..."

She had almost broken down into tears, but another surprise completely blindsided me. An intense, _shearing _pain tore through my entire body, doubling me over so hard I slid off my bed onto my knees on the floor. I had never felt such severe pain before, or such widespread pain, but just as quickly as it had started, it stopped, and again I couldn't breathe.

"Derek?_ Derek_!"

All my muscles were still locked in agonizing tension, but as they slowly began to release moments later, all I could think to do...was not move in case it started again.

"Derek! What's wrong!"

"I...I don't kn -"

Another torturous attack reduced me even further to the floor, tightly curling me up on my side. As hard as I tried, I could no longer hold back a wretched scream; the pain was far too much for me to handle.


	8. Chapter 8

As I slowly woke, I heard distant, muffled moaning, but I soon realized that it was my own. I was still in a great deal of pain, but it was just slightly less intense than the attacks I remembered. Every inch of my body, inside and out, felt like it had been on fire, and even though the heat was gone, it was all left to smolder, and I was getting no relief. I heard other muddled voices beside me, but I couldn't understand them for a few moments as I continued to wake. I felt a heavy hand laying across my forehead, and another hand was holding mine at my side.

"Try to relax, Derek," I finally heard Master Natiyr clearly. "I know you're experiencing some discomfort, but you'll feel better in just a minute..."

The hand holding mine squeezed tightly. "Don't fight it," my mother instructed me gently, leaned over close to my ear. "It'll all go away soon."

I tried to follow their suggestions, but I was still so overwhelmed by it all, not knowing why I was in so much pain, I could do little more than take short, gasping breaths as my entire body shook to endure it.

"Derek," Mom continued more confidently, "you're going to be alright. You won't hurt anymore, I _promise_."

For a while, I didn't believe her, still feeling every nerve I had firing relentlessly, but eventually the pain began subsiding as they said it would, and I could slow my breathing somewhat, though I was still hyperventilating.

"Mom?"

"Right here," she answered quickly, brushing her free hand against my cheek. Master Natiyr's hand was still on my forehead, but as I opened my eyes, I could see Mom hovering over me, her face overwritten with worry just inches from mine, and I could see that I was back in the Manor's medical wing.

"What...what's wrong with me?"

She took in and released a slow breath, as though she were reluctant to tell me. Was it that bad? "You...contracted a virus."

Still a bit out of it, I tried to think. "A virus is making me...hurt like this?"

Again, reluctance in her eyes. "You got it from your father."

I stared. If I got it from him, then had he gone through that same agony? No, he couldn't have; he hadn't been able to feel pain since...

She must have seen the look of realization on my face as she nodded. "The same virus that destroyed his nerves just before you were born."

Master Natiyr retracted his hand from my head, apparently finished healing me, but I hadn't noticed then. I was too busy trying to process what my mom was telling me. "But...I thought you said...he didn't have it anymore? How did I get it from him?"

She thought for a moment, glancing to the side before returning to me. "You know the color of Kaylina's eyes? That rich, golden brown?" I nodded. "Your father's eyes used to be that color...not black. The virus changed them, and they stayed black even after he got the antidote."

My head was still swimming. "I don't understand."

"We thought the black in his eyes was just pigment left there by the virus, but...apparently the black is actually a collection of dormant virus bodies. His fall, or maybe his injuries triggered some to release and return to his bloodstream, and he...transferred some to you through your wounds. They replicated in your system, and then they attacked your nerves last night.

"After Cordira found you, we treated you immediately with the antidote. We've scanned and tested you for hours since, and we're very sure that the virus is gone now. All you're feeling is just residual nerve irritation that will subside. No more virus, no long-term damage."

Though I should've been relieved, only one phrase remained in my mind, and I couldn't think about anything else.

"...Cordira _found _me?"

Mom nodded nonchalantly. "She said she was walking past your room to get a drink last night when she heard your...screaming. She woke us up and brought us to you, and we were able to administer the antidote very quickly once we figured out what was wrong. I'm sure we would have eventually heard you, but she saved you from suffering for very long."

I didn't even have time to process what that meant before Cordira stepped into view, standing beside my mother with a warm smile.

"You gave us quite a scare," Cordira teased lightly. I could only gaze back at her blankly.

"Just a few minutes, Cordira," Mom told her as she turned and hugged her tightly. "It's his turn to get the rest now."

"Yes, Master Rys'tihn," she answered, and as my mom left, my mind felt even less clear than it had been when I had woken up earlier.

...it was as though _nothing _had happened last night.

"I hope you're feeling better?" she asked innocently. When I managed to nod, she smiled again. "Good, I'm glad. You'll be back up to speed in no time."

Her vibrant, energetic eyes looked me over without any hesitation, without any hint of regret, or guilt, or humiliation._ I_ was the one who had been briefly tortured by some crazy virus, but I still remembered every detail: the longing on her face, and the sweet sound of her voice just before _she_ kissed _me_...

I swallowed, hard. I knew I wasn't insane, and I knew I hadn't imagined or dreamed our discussion. It had all been very real, very tangible...hadn't it?

I was beginning to realize that I must have looked to her the way she had the first time we had woken up in the medical wing, and I did my best to cover up my...disappointment. "Yeah...thanks to you."

"Actually, I'd like to thank _you_." I was about to ask why when she began grinning mischievously. "I told your mom I was up getting a drink...but I was actually coming to get you so we could sneak out of the Manor and go down to the Falls. Thanks to your episode, my dad didn't have the chance to catch us when we would have been leaving; he was still up in the library, and he would have heard us distracting that guard in the hallway. Because of you, neither of us are in trouble."

Even though it hurt, I had to laugh a bit. "You're welcome...?"

She laughed, too, but soon an uneasy expression spread across her face. "Are you sure you're alright? You're still shaking... I'll go get my dad and bring him back to help you."

"No, it's okay," I stopped her before she could go very far. "I'm just...cold." I wasn't lying entirely. Only a light sheet lay over me, and even though I could tell it was at least midday through the medical wing's window beside me, the room was cooler than usual.

As she turned back to me, she grinned again, sizing me up. "Then move over."

Confused by the demand, I blinked. "What?"

Returning to my side, she shoved my shoulder pretty forcefully. "There's plenty of room for both of us, and I can warm you up faster than another blanket."

I studied her face as intently as I could, determined to find some kind of...awkwardness or reluctance, like what she had exhibited the night before...but she was nothing but candid and guileless, just as she had always been before this whole fiasco. And if she was going to be so casual about it...I guess I would be, too.

I somewhat painfully shifted myself to the side, making room for her. She quickly climbed in and pulled the sheet over both of us, settling herself against me. Her head gently rested on my shoulder, and she was right; it wasn't long until I was comfortable and we were both asleep.

If I had known then that she would be gone when I woke up, that I wouldn't see her again for more than four years...I never would have closed my eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

For the second time in less than a standard day, I had woken up, unable to be certain that I hadn't dreamed what had happened to me mere hours earlier.

The sun had already set, but only just, and my mom was already at my side again, waiting on me to wake. I was startled at first, afraid what she would think if she saw Cordira laying in bed beside me, but...Cordira was gone, and I quickly determined that Mom hadn't even known.

"Are you still hurting?"

She must have mistaken my bewildered expression for pain. I shook my head. "No, I, uh..." I scrambled for some explanation she'd accept. "I just...hadn't intended to sleep for so long."

She nodded understandingly. "Your father spent more than four months working up the strength to stand again after what had happened to him. You only had it for a very short time, but...it takes a lot out of you, I know."

She smiled as I sat up in bed, but it fell when I began looking around the room. She knew who I was trying to find, and I still feel the same hole in my heart being ripped open every time I remember her words.

"Cordira's gone. The Jedi assigned the Natiyrs to an extended mission...and they took her with them."

At first, I was angry - no, _furious _- that she hadn't said goodbye. I was angry for a long time, actually, probably for a good part of the first year, until I realized that I probably wouldn't have wanted to say goodbye, either. How much harder would that have made her departure? No, I had eventually convinced myself that it had been better that we had parted so...abruptly. Another difficult year went by, and I nearly became physically ill every time I thought of her, I missed her so fiercely. My parents had gotten messages from them from time to time, but they never contained much more than simple pleasantries, and it was as though they were intended for anyone to read...or intercept. Few details were known of their mission, and I knew even less. I had to assume by their messages that they were all still okay, but it became harder to maintain that optimism as even more time went by.

Four years, almost to the day since we had...kissed, since we had fallen asleep together on my bed, and not a day had gone by where I didn't once see her beautiful, serene face in my mind. Asleep on my shoulder, not a care in the universe though we both had just survived certain death...

I had been sitting on the balcony railing outside my room for hours, staring up at the clear, starry night sky in thought as I had countless times over the years. Every time a ship passed overhead or flew nearby, I imagined she was on it, finally returning home...even though I knew she wasn't. It wasn't that I was out of hope or that I cared for her less, but I had just accepted that I would have to be that much more patient, that I'd have to wait much longer than I wanted to before I'd see her again. I comforted myself with the thought that she was getting invaluable experience in the field with her Jedi Master parents, experience her younger twin sisters could only dream of while studying in the safety of the Jedi Academy.

...it was actually of little comfort to me, but I imagined it was what she wanted, and if it made her happy, then I could be happy for her.

The night's cold air was beginning to chill me to the bone, even though I was still wearing my heavy flight suit from training with the Edgepoint Squadron earlier in the evening. Despite knowing I wasn't about to get much sleep, I stepped back inside my room and closed the balcony doors, resting my hand on the frame briefly to gather my thoughts. If anyone could read what was in my head at that moment, I'm sure I would've seemed little less than pathetic: nineteen years old, a Rys'tihn Royal, one of Paneau's best pilots, but only focused on the woman I loved who I hadn't seen for almost four years... I would have dropped everything to go find her myself if I had to -

"...Derek?"

I whirled around so fast, I thought my head would snap off my neck. I stared in disbelief into the darkness of my room at a silhouette that was both familiar and foreign, and as she stepped closer to me, more moonlight shone off her face, and her hair...her unmistakable fire-red hair.

For four years I had dreamed of this moment, what I would say, what I would do...but I couldn't do anything besides stand there in stunned silence like a moron in front of her.

She stepped closer again, smiling shyly. "...I'm home." My reaction must've been easier to read than I thought. "_We're_ home," she corrected herself quickly for me, still smiling. "My parents are downstairs. They didn't want to wake anyone since we got in so late. I hoped you would still be up, so I came to see you."

I hadn't taken a breath since recognizing her; I was too shocked to notice how much my lungs were burning for fresh air.

She seemed to take my silence for hesitance or anger, though. "Look, I know you must have a thousand questions for me, and...I'll be honest with you right now: I can't answer most of them." She was beginning to look nervous, but I still couldn't shake myself out of my stupor. "I'm sorry I left the way I did, but...I didn't have much of a choice, and it was better for both of us, as hard as it was to leave in the first place." Her eyes begged me to breathe, so I did. "Please...say _something_, anything. I thought you'd have plenty to say to me when I returned..."

I knew she probably wouldn't hear me, so I took a slow step closer to her, desperate to quell my shaking... "I missed you."

Her face lit up instantly, her gray eyes sparkling in the starlight filtering into my room from the balcony window behind me. "I missed you, too." She laughed after a moment, shaking her head. "I missed your jokes, mostly. Believe it or not, my parents' jokes couldn't quite measure up..."

I had to laugh, too. "I can't imagine they would." I was still so breathless and in complete denial. Was she really standing in front of me? Or was I dreaming? I looked her over, studying her lankier, leaner frame, and though she had a few new small scars on her face and she wore rugged yet form-fitting clothing, she was still nothing less than stunning. "You look...great."

Her genuine smile stole my breath again. "Thanks." She looked me up and down, too. "I like your suit. Let me guess...Edgepoints?"

I nodded with a shrug. "Who else? Like father, like son."

Grinning with sudden inspiration, she grabbed my hand and excitedly tugged me over to my bed, sitting me down on it as she sat beside me. "Tell me all about it. I want to hear your stories, everything I've missed!"

With her touch, I was starting to come to my senses, and once again, I struggled to come up with an answer. "Well, ah...I only just started training with them a few weeks ago, so...there's really not anything interesting to tell. I mean, of course," I eased a bit, grinning myself, "I'm showing them all up, but that's not a surprise, right?"

Unimpressed, she rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Not at all. I _am _surprised, however, that they haven't named you Commander yet."

Thankfully, the darkness of the room cloaked my blushing cheeks. "Maybe next week. But I don't want to talk about me... You're here now; tell me what_ you've_ been doing all this time. It has to be way more exciting than - "

"Derek," she shook her head, her expression falling. "I already said, I can't tell you much of anything... I just can't."

"I know," I reassured her quickly, hoping to keep her talking. "I know. So...be as generic as possible. Give me an outline, or a summary, paint a picture...just something."

She smelled just as appealing as I remembered, and we were even sitting in the same places we had been that night...that night only I seemed to remember. I watched her as she thought for a moment, still holding her hand between us. I wonder if she knew how much power she had over me... All she had to do was speak, and I was undeniably enchanted.

"Well, we...traveled a lot," she began with a shrug. "Places I've never seen or heard of. Honestly, I'm not even sure if most of those places have even been charted." She paused a moment, taking in a slow breath. "We were...busy, not much downtime, but...we were very, very alone. That was actually the hardest part of the mission, the isolation...at least it was for me. I can't speak for my parents, though; maybe they enjoyed it... I learned a lot from them, as much as I could. We completed our mission, we spent a few days on Coruscant debriefing the Jedi, and...then we came home."

I wanted to ask her a number of other questions as I studied the scars on her face, but I knew she had already told me what she could. "So...what now?"

She looked almost afraid to answer. "I...don't know. I'm sure my parents will want to visit my sisters soon... Actually," she continued with a darker tone to her voice, "I'm surprised we didn't stop there on our way here."

"No, I meant you. What are you going to do now?"

Though she at first remained timid, a small smile spread across her face. "Well, I have had quite a bit of time to think about it...and I think I know now." I arched my eyebrows, waiting anxiously, even moreso when her expression fell again. "Now, don't take this the wrong way. There's not a direct threat...right now, but I think it's time that King Verojec had a...a different kind of guard."

Without any context, I was more than a little confused. "A different guard?"

"Yes. I know his Scepter Guard is very well trained, and they've served him well, but... I've just had this...this _feeling _that he needs to have more protection."

"How would they be different?"

She examined my face for a long moment, apparently determining if she could trust me with the details of her plan. I tried to look as interested and as non-judgmental as I could.

"They would be...Force-sensitives."

I blinked. "Jedi."

"No," she corrected sternly, "not Jedi. Force adepts. They'd be trained as _guards_...with a few extra skills on the side."

As crazy as it seemed, I was actually already sold on it. I could only hope, though, that my mind was sound enough to have processed her proposal rationally.

"So...a new guard for the king." I released a long breath. "You'd train them, I assume?"

She nodded. "At least, the Force skills. You know I don't need a lightsaber to be...effective." I nodded, too. It was one of the many traits she had inherited from her mother, much to her dismay. Cordira shunned almost everything about herself that reminded her that she was a clone of her mother...except for her skills at weaponless combat, which still baffled me.

"And what would this new guard be called?"

She held my gaze a long silent moment, again gauging my reaction. "Verojec's Guard." She winced, seeming to have heard it aloud for the first time. "For now."

"Verojec's Guard," I repeated, nodding with approval. "It sounds...good."

Apparently, 'good' wasn't the reaction she was hoping to hear. She looked down at her lap, sighing heavily, hardly masking her exhaustion. I had to recover somehow.

"What can I do to help?"

Her expression brightened as she looked back up at me, even though she seemed unsure. "I don't know. I have to get approval first. If it gets that far...you could help me narrow down the recruits?"

"Whatever you need."

Again, her smile broadened, and she took in a long, deep breath as she glanced around my dark room absently for a few moments. "You have no idea how glad I am to be home..."

I doubt she knew how ironic that was. "I think I do."

Without warning, she fell backwards onto my bed, not even gently. Her fatigue seemed to have very suddenly caught up with her.

"Can I crash here?" she mumbled, almost half asleep already. "I really don't want to walk all the way down to my room... I have still got a room here, right?"

I grinned. "I could carry you."

I only heard a weak grunt with a negative tone before she reached up and grabbed my collar, forcefully tugging me down onto the bed beside her. I froze, unsure what she wanted, even as she rolled up onto her side and snuggled against me. Her head rested on my shoulder again, and once more, I was breathless.

"You need to sleep, too," she mumbled even less coherently. "I can feel it. You're tired."

"Okay," was all I could manage. She was comfortable and asleep on me within a matter of minutes, leaving me in a state of fear and disbelief. Would she still be there in the morning when I woke up, or would it have all just been a dream again? She had trusted me with a plan that was obviously very important to her, and it was as though we had picked up right where we left off four years ago. Was it weird that we hadn't noticed a change in each other? Or had we just mutually agreed to ignore the changes without knowing it? So many questions were still dashing through my mind, and though she was right, I was quite tired, I wasn't going to let her escape again.

As gently as I could, I reached over and picked up her hand, holding it against my chest. She was already so deeply asleep, she didn't stir, so I felt reasonably sure I could whisper without waking her.

"..._I love you, Cordira Natiyr. I always have_."

Again, she remained asleep, and content as I hadn't been in years, I felt a sense of peace wash over me; I eventually gave into sleep, too.


End file.
